Kids under 10 or so are generally very egocentric— all about me, I, and myself. This day included the most fun activity of all — visiting my psychiatrist. If your seven or eight year old asks things, answer them as simply as possible. I showed him a big list of famous peoples pictures that have dyslexia and said, “These people have brains that kinda work like yours and look at all the things they have done.” A 6-, 7-, or 8-year-old is most apt to ask this question if something she's seen or heard – usually from an older child or on TV – introduces the idea. You can say, "Honey, we need privacy right now. Your willingness to talk honestly with your child is an ongoing gift he'll need as he steers his way through the confusions of childhood, adolescence, and beyond. My boyfriend has a little sister (8 years old), We talk on the phone every once in a while .. Is sex what you do in bed? As young as 8 or 9 you could be saying things like: “There are also lots of scary things online, and if you stumble across any of these things, I would love if you come and talk to me about them.” At this stage, they may be interested in talking to grandparents, or they may be involved in their own pursuits. Eight- to ten-year-old children are still in what researcher Erik Erikson calls the age of Industry vs Inferiority. How to Talk to a 4-8 Year-Old Child about a Suicide Attempt in Your Family This information sheet is intended to serve as a guide for adults to use when talking with a 4-8 year-old child about a suicide attempt in the family. At this age, children usually start going to school and, for the first time in their life, they get to spend a lot of time without their parents, interacting with their peers. In my opinion, the best way to talk to any child is to ask them questions. "You want to be an 'ask-able' parent," says Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor at the University of Washington in Seattle and coauthor of Ten Talks Parents Must Have With Their Children About Sex and Character. Your kid knows you're there, of course, but often is more willing to talk than if you were speaking directly. "What's a wet dream?" An 8-year-old may show more sophisticated and complex emotions and interactions.3 Most are able to mask their true thoughts or emotions to spare someone’s feelings. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Here are a few suggestions to aid communication: Make time to hear about the day's activities; be sure your child knows you're actively interested and listening carefully. "When am I going to get breasts?" By Trevor Romain. Do all boys have the same kind of penis?". What does 'playing with yourself' mean? Most girls will want specific information, but boys ask about periods, too. My Uncle was 29 and was hit by a drunk driver while driving home, two days before Christmas . How do gay people have babies?". If you start early and talk to them often, then talking about puberty when they get older will be a lot easier. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. "Can I make a baby?" Follow. Don’t try to have a “big talk.” If your child comes to you and wants to have a long discussion, great. Talking to Children About Adoption: 8-9 Years Old. You can reason with a two or three-year-old, especially to avoid power struggles. Let them know that in a few years' time, those physical differences would have reduced. Ask me some more any time you want to." Ugh – will I have to have sex?". My 5-year-old daughter is married. But most of the time, “it’s probably going to come up in bits and pieces. Today, kids are exposed to so much information about sex and relationships on TV and the Internet that by the time they approach puberty, they may be familiar with some advanced ideas.And yet, talking about the issues of puberty remains an important job for parents because not all of a child's information comes from reliable sources. Most 6- to 8-year-old boys aren't having wet dreams yet, but they may be hearing about them from older friends and siblings. Keep using those moments, as well as scenes of family life in movies or on TV, to talk about relationships and sexuality. Avoid materialistic rewards or use them when introducing a new rule or concept to assist your son to stay on track. "How are babies made? 3. Don't shy away from it, but remember that children this age are probably still too young for details about the mechanics of sex. It has never failed me. ", So answer his questions and praise him for asking: "What a good question! At best you’ll get ignored; at worst, they’ll shut down or have an outburst. Talk to your 8 year old about porn before the pornographers do it. Change ), You are commenting using your Google account. ", Your child may also ask, "Is it okay to masturbate? "What's sex?" Praise your child when he accomplishes something. Death is always a difficult thing to talk about, especially with children. Communicating With Your Child. Grade-schoolers can be told, "When the baby is ready to be born, the bottom of the womb – which is called the cervix – slowly stretches open. You need to know details about what led up to her doing it. It's nearly impossible not to get flustered, but try (and then start locking the bedroom door!). I recently had a real talk with my 8-year-old son about a kid who was trying to bully him. Iv asked her about her favorite chocolate, animals and all that type of stuff .. This is, of course, the single the most important part of helping kids open up. Sex is also one of the ways two grown-ups can show that they love each other very much, by touching each other's body during private time together." 5. You can tell her, "Puberty is the time when your body starts to change from a child's body to a grown-up body. You don't have to wait for your child to ask all the questions. Odds are, your grade-schooler has already engaged in masturbation, but at this point he may be hearing the word (or euphemisms for it) at school and starting to wonder more about what it means. Keep answering her questions as long as she shows interest, but don't overload her with information if her next comment is, "Okay. You may be there, too. A child starts to depend on their family from the moment they were born and this bond tends to grow stronger throughout the years. Parv K. Jessy. If you think your child is ready for the info inside, thengive it to them and tell them to talk to you about any questions they have. This talk is not to be confused with The Talk. ", Other questions about penises include, "What's ejaculation? When to lead, when to follow my child’s lead, how much information to provide and when. I first experienced a death in the family when I was nine years old. In Waldorf, we say to speak to the young child under age seven as if painting pictures with our words. “Get dressed so you can go outside and play.” Offer a reason for your request that is to the child’s advantage and one that is difficult to refuse. ( Log Out /  Let your grade-schooler know that breast size does not determine whether a person is pretty, sexy, or popular. If your toddler grandchild is uninterested in talking, don't push it. Kids talk to other kids. Disciplining an 8-Year-Old Boy. This is a clear – and healthy – sign that he's just not ready to learn more details about sex yet. A 6-, 7-, or 8-year-old is most apt to ask this question if something she's seen or heard – usually from an older child or on TV – introduces the idea. Encourage his interest. Ask questions that go beyond "yes" or "no" answers to prompt more developed conversation. When he hears your answers, he might take them in stride or he might react with a loud "Yuck!" "The mom's eggs are inside her body, in her ovaries. You can tell him, "Masturbation means touching your private parts – the penis for boys, the clitoris for girls. ", Grade-school girls may also ask, "How big are my breasts going to be? They get mixed with a white liquid called semen. Either way, your grade-schooler will get the message that his perfectly normal questions are taboo, and that he's bad for even thinking of them. Your grade-schooler understands the occasional need for "private time," and he should know that he needs to knock before coming in when your door is closed. This answer may be just enough for a 6- to 8-year-old, who could be overwhelmed by details of pubic hair growth and monthly periods. When she was 5 or 6, she would ask why she doesn’t have a … And if your 8-year-old has some 10-year-old buddies, he may be asking you questions you didn't think you'd have to handle so soon. You can explain, "A wet dream is a sign that a boy is going through puberty. ", If she asks for more detail, you might say, "Grown-ups use sex to make each other feel happy and wonderful. Make sure your child isn't scared or worried by what he saw, and be sure to emphasize that he didn't do anything wrong. "Your breasts will start to develop when you start going through puberty," you can tell your grade-schooler. ", Related questions include, "When am I going to get my period? He's likely to believe the "facts" he hears from his friends, no matter how outrageous they are. All pregnancy, parenting, and birth videos >, How to talk to your grade-schooler about how babies are made, How to talk to your grade-schooler about death. He's constantly forming pictures in his mind of what reality is – and they're not always accurate. Or how does the baby get food when he's growing inside the mother?". However, even 6-year-olds can learn that there's an emotional element to sex. Give her time to get angry and sad, throughout the weekend. How can two women or men get married? We can't predict exactly when you'll start, but it will be at the right time for your own body.". Talking to them is a positive and reassuring way to deal with it. A new report suggests that children as young as 8 years old have admitted to being addicted to internet pornography. ... Susan, a grandmother with several years of practice, says she's had success talking to her grandkids about things she did with them, asking about movies or TV shows they both may have seen and about any major events coming up--holidays, birthdays, competitions. "What's puberty?" But what does one do with this age of seven and eight? I realize that my messaging needs to be extremely straightforward and simple, so that a 8 year old kid can describe to another 8 year … "We were making love, showing how much we care about each other. Just one sperm joins up with the egg, and that's the start of a new baby. Tuck them in with a kiss, pray with them, be available to listen if they want to … Start "The Talk" Early. It also takes a lot of growing up on the inside to be ready to care for a baby, and so no one should make a baby until he or she is a mature adult. They're busy trying to make and keep friends and develop their social and physical skills on the playground and ball field. A part of that rock, that tree, that root over there, a part of you and a part of me. My friend and I were talking about this today:   how exactly do you talk to a seven or eight year old about things? Needless to say, I was surprised. My friend and I were talking about this today: how exactly do you talk to a seven or eight year old about things? Talking about bodies, puberty, and sex can be stressful for a parent, but it doesn't have to be. Parents have been known to embark on a long explanation of conception and birth only to hear their 6-year-old interrupt, "No, I mean Timmy said he's from California – where did I come from? Later, many use tampons, which are like skinny napkins that fit inside the vagina. The thing is I have no idea what to talk to her about or how to get the conversation more interesting! get his father to talk to him too but, don't expect too much because most men would rather ignore the situation. Talking about bodies, puberty, and sex can be stressful for a parent, but it doesn't have to be. I told him that everyone’s brain works differently and learns differently. the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information. It's also the beginning of desiring privacy … You can say, ‘I love you, and I can see from your body language that something has happened and you’re not ready to tell me. Is there anything you need?" The time for a difficult conversation may be now. "Your kid should know you love this kind of conversation. Reflect back what they’re saying so they know you understand, and then be quiet so they can talk … Tell her you’d like to discuss this with her and that you are asking out of concern, not out of being angry. Most children under the age of 8 can't, and don't need to, grasp the actual mechanics of sex, and discussions of erections, periods, labor, and other aspects of sexuality may frighten them. In Waldorf, we say to speak to the young child under age seven as if painting pictures with our words. We strive for keeping the young child  dreamy and not just handing the five or six-year old piles of information for which they have no context. It may help if you call at a specific time of day, perhaps as their day is winding down. There is a big difference between what a 5-year-old and an 8-year-old needs to know – as they get older, you need to give them more details and repeat yourself a lot more! 5) Use visual aids.